Morrie-isms From the book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch
I whither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left?
what you are able to do and what you are not able to do.
the past as past, without denying it or discarding it.
to forgive yourself and to forgive others.
assume that it’s too late to get involved.
should not be embarrassing.
I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to
going to live – or at least try to live – the way I want, with dignity, with
courage, with humor, with composure.
are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, I’m so angry and bitter. But that doesn’t last too long. Then I get up and say, “I want to live…”
on the last great journey here – and people want me to tell them what to pack.
is only one thing to be sad over. Living
unhappily is something else.
I told you about the tension of opposites?
Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound
to do something else. Something hurts
you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take
certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything
for granted. A tension of opposites,
like a pull on a rubber band. And most
of us live somewhere in the middle.
Sound like a wrestling match? Yes
you could describe life that way. So
which side wins? Love wins, love always
is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed
a tear for one another.
most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it
is the only rational act.
only horrible if you see it that way.
It’s horrible to watch my body slowly wilt away to nothing. But it’s also wonderful because of all the
time I get to say good-bye. Not everyone
is so lucky.
knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently. To know that you’re gong to die, and to be
prepared for it at any time. That’s
can you ever be prepared to die? Do what
the Buddhists do. Every day, have a
little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready?
Am I doing all I need to do? Am I
being the person I want to be?’
you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand
today if it isn’t the family. It’s
become quite clear to me as I’ve been sick.
If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you
get from a family, you don’t have much at all.
Love is so supremely important.
each other or perish (by the great poet Auden)
security – knowing that your family will be there watching out for you.
doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you
fully. That’s how you are able to leave it. (said after a particularly violent
coughing attack) Take any emotion – love
for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain
from a deadly illness. If you hold back
on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them –
you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of
the grief. You’re afraid of the
vulnerability that loving entails. I
know that you think this is just about dying, but it’s like I keep telling
you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
On the subject of crying:
Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself
with the emotion. It won’t hurt
you. It will only help.
fear: If you let the fear inside, if you
pull it on like a familiar shirt, than you can say to yourself, “All right,
it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”
loneliness: You let go, let the tears
flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was
my moment with loneliness. I’m not
afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and
know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience
them as well.
On dependence: I’m an independent person, so my inclination
was to fight all of this – being helped from the car, having someone else dress
me. I felt a little ashamed, because our
culture tells us we should be ashamed if we can’t wipe our own behind…. And you
know what? The strangest thing. I began to enjoy my dependency. Now I enjoy when they turn me over on my side
and rub cream on my behind so I don’t get sores. Or when they wipe my brow, or they massage my
legs. I revel in it. I close my eyes and soak it up. And it seems very familiar to me.. It’s like
going back to being a child again.
Someone to bathe you. Someone to
lift you. Someone to wipe you. We all know how to be a child. It’s inside all of us. For me, it’s just remembering how to enjoy
it. The truth is, when our mothers held
us, rocked us, stroked our heads – none of us ever got enough of that. We all yearn in some way to return to those
days when we were completely taken care of – unconditional love, unconditional
attention. Most of us didn’t get enough.
a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need... You know what really gives you
satisfaction? Offering others what you
have to give. I don’t mean money…I mean
your time. Your concern.
I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it’s
as close to healthy as I ever feel.
decided what I want on my tombstone: A
Teacher to the Last.
believe in being fully present. That
means you should be with the person
learned this much about marriage. You
get tested. You find out who you are,
who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don’t.
are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re
going to have a lot of trouble. If you
didn’t know how to compromise, you’re going to have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on
between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. An if you don’t have a common set of values
in life, you’re gonna have a lot of
trouble. Your values must be alike. The biggest one of those values: Your belief in the importance of your
are only mean when they’re threatened.
the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive,
right? And at the end of life, when you
get like me, you need others to survive, right?
But here’s the secret: in between, we need others as well.
dying: Don’t let go too soon, but don’t
hang on too long.
compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world
would be so much better a place.
disease is knocking at my spirit. But it
will not get my spirit. It’ll get my
body. It will not get my spirit.
yourself before you die. Then forgive
mourn my dwindling time, but I cherish the chance it gives me to make things
long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling for life we had, we
can die without ever really going away.
All the love you created is still there.
All the memories are still there.
You live on – in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured
while you were here.
ends a life, not a relationship.
the important questions: As I see it,
they have to do with love, responsibility, spirituality, awareness. And if I were healthy today, those would still
be my issues. They should have been all
Love: In business, people negotiate to
win. They negotiate to get what they
want. Maybe you’re too used to that . Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about
someone else’s situation as you are about your own.
Every Wednesday they will do the washing of pets for seniors (65 and older) for the price of a self wash. Price good for the first pet any additional pet is regular price. Make an appointment, spots fill up quickly!
1221 W. Eisenhower Blvd. Loveland, CO 80537 970-622-9466
For details about the Loveland concerts, call 962-2563 and for information about the Fort Collins series, call 484-6500 or visit http://downtownfortcollins.com
Foote Lagoon Concert Series, 7-9pm, 500 E. Third St. Loveland
July 12 -- The Elders (Celtic rock). Location change: Hammond Amphitheater, North Lake Park, eldersmusic.com . July 19 -- Harpeth Rising (folk), harpethrising.com . July 26 -- Colorado Swing Band (jazz/swing), coloradoswing.com . Aug. 2 -- Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds (rock/funk), sistersparrow.com Aug. 9 -- Angie Stevens and the Beautiful Wreck (Americana), angiestevens.com Aug. 16 -- Under a Blood Red Sky (U2 tribute), uabrs.com .
Concert Series by the Loveland Concert Band,7:15 p.m.(except for the July 4 concert), Hammond Amphitheater in North Lake Park, Loveland.
June 5 -- Opening Night On Broadway. June 12 -- Colorful Colorado. June 19 -- The Olympics Are Coming (with a food drive). June 26 -- Some of My Favorites. July 4, 7:30 p.m. -- A Swingin' Fourth. July 10 -- As Summer Ends.
Sounds of Centerra, 7-9 p.m., Chapungu Sculpture Park at Centerra.
July 13 -- Don Elwood Big Band. July 20 -- Kenny Cordova and The Olde Rock Band. July 27 -- Soul School. Aug. 3 -- Mountain Holler (bluegrass). Aug. 10 -- Durango Drifters (country). Aug. 17 -- Potcheen (Celtic rock).
Ben and Jerry's FAC Concert Series, 7-9 p.m., Old Town Square stage.
June 1 -- Second Hand Smokers (cover and original rock). June 8 -- Yettie (blues/classic rock/jam band). June 15 -- Daddy Rab (classic hot hits/cool originals). June 22 -- Rawah (bluegrass). June 29 -- Fubar II (acoustic folk rock duo). July 6 -- Amplified Souls (classic/contemporary pop, rock, blues and rock). July 13 -- Max Wagner (jazz trio). July 20 -- TriBuz (Premiere U2 Tribute Band). July 27 -- Cornerstone (classic folk rock duo). Aug. 3 -- Johnny Johnston (hot finger pickin'). Aug. 17 -- In the Mojo (high energy dance music).
Noontime Notes, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Oak Street Plaza at Oak Street and College Avenue.
June 5 -- Grupo Aztlan (Latin music). June 16 -- Wendy Woo (rock, blues, folk, and jazz). June 19 -- Mark Sloniker and Colleen Crosson (jazz piano). June 26 -- TBA. July 3 -- Steve Eulberg (mountain and hammered dulcimers). July 10 -- Just Jazz Quintet. July 17 -- Kort McCumber with James Moors (Americana, roots and rock). July 24 -- TBA. July 31 -- Jeff Finlin (Americana and folk rock). Aug. 7 -- Interstate Cowboy (western swing, rock and ranch tunes).
Bohemian Nights Presents: Thursday Night Live Concert Series, 7-9 pm Old Town Square, Fort Collins.
May 31 -- Elmer Funk. June 7 -- RETRO 80's Tribute Band. June 14 -- Futaba. June 21 -- Chris Daniels and the Kings. June 28 -- SHEL. July 5 -- Manabi Salsa Band. July 12 -- ZARO and Beats Noir (Extra FC Jazz Experience concert 7-8, 8:30-10:30 p.m.). July 19 -- Jeff Finlin. July 26 -- Howling Moon Travelers. Aug. 2 -- Lindsey O'Brien Band.
Area festivals with music:
June 23-24 -- 23rd annual Colorado Brewers' Festival, Fort Collins. (Paid admission.) July 13-14 -- Loveland Loves Barbecue, Bands and Brews. 3-10 p.m. Friday and 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday, Loveland. July 21 -- Cherry Pie Festival, free, Loveland. Pie is available for purchase by the slice as well as ice cream and drinks available. Papa Juke will perform 4-5 p.m. Sammy Dee Morton Band 5:30-6:30 p.m. and Dixie Leadfoot 7-8 p.m. Aug. 10-12 -- Annual Bohemian Nights at NewWestFest, Fort Collins. (Paid admission.) Aug. 24-25 -- Old-Fashioned Corn Roast Festival, 5-10 p.m. Friday and 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, Loveland.